What is Abuse? - A Warning List 
Many women don’t think of themselves as “abused.” They may not think of themselves as “battered.” Many victims don’t see the things their partners do to them as abusive, and they don’t see them as a pattern.

Abuse is about control. It is one person scaring another person into doing what he wants her to do. It is not just one hit. It is a pattern. Abuse can be physical, emotional, sexual, economic. It can also be criminal. It is usually a whole series of behaviors used to get and keep control.

Here is a list of questions for you to ask yourself. You don’t need to answer “yes” to all of them to have been abused.


Has your partner ever...
hit,grabbed, choked, bitten, burned, slapped or pushed you? 
used a gun or a knife or some kind of weapon against you? 
hit you with some object like a bat or pan or belt? 
hit, held or squeezed you so hard that it left a bruise? 
threatened to hurt or to kill you or your children or your friends? 
withheld money or food or medicine or transportation from you? 
called you names, made you feel ashamed of yourself, humiliated you? 
put you down in front of your children, your friends, your boss? 
forced you to have sex when you did not want to? 
forced you to perform sexual acts you did not want to? 
destroyed or broken your possessions? 
threatened to harm or kill himself if you do or don’t do something?